Tuesday, December 25, 2012

The Soldier in me....

I am and have always been a soldier; it is who I am to my very core. In fact I have visions of men falling around me and going back and dragging them back to safety.  It is not something I think of it is just what I do.  I leave no man behind, either I pick them up even if we have to drag each other or I die trying. 

So the concept of leaving those behind, those that refuse to awaken, was one that always nagged at me.  I realize there are many that are bringing in the new age and must usher forward all those that are ready, this is their divine contract and it must be so.  But there I stand, in the middle of this bridge, encouraging others to push forward while part of me looks behind me, knowing that I have to push forward and yet my heart and soul scream at me “ leave no man behind!”  

The problem is that I know, that I can not change my destiny.  I have been prepared for this my entire life.  My childhood, my trials, the need for detachment were all preparing me for this very moment.  I have done all I can those that have listened who have begun their own journey shall find their way and those that choose not to will stay.

There are many that have taken butchered translations of all kinds of religious views and clung to them for dear life.  There are others who have become so completely disillusion with the lies and deception that they deny their own connection to the source becoming atheist.  I suppose losing faith or doubting religious dogma is only half the process, it is the search for our own truth beyond the lies that really defines our awakening. 

As I look around I know many that I had to release into this old energy and leave them behind.  I can not do anything more for them.  There vibration stopped matching mine long ago and with a heavy heart I let them go. There are many even in my own family who do not understand my purpose or why I had to bring things out into the light and release myself from it.  There are those that simply want to remain asleep because the destruction of the world they think they know is just too much.  So I must respect those choices and leave them.  It was not until I developed my own understanding of the 3-d death of our bodies that I could truly let go.

I know now that eventually every soul will be born again and again returning over and over again until they find their way. I know there is no death not of the soul anyway.  I suppose my only attachment is for those that I care about, know personally whom I tried to awaken.  I tried to broaden their awareness and help them grow and they simply retreated in that mindless space of fear, blame, judgment and separation.  I can not live in that space. Nor will I try to change them.  I just accept the distance I had to put between myself and them and take full responsibility for ushering those that are ready forward. 

I must deposit as many seeds as I can for eventually they will all bloom in their own time, and be o.k. with knowing that sitting around and waiting for them to blossom will not speed up their own internal alarm clock.  I must find all of those beings that teeter back and forth unsure of what step to take and awaken them to their own expansion and growth…and push forward by standing strong in my truth.  I have accepted that I can only carry forward those that I am meant to assist.

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