Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Wounded Healer

There is nothing more piercing than the sound of anguished cry due to the loss of senseless violence. This piercing sound could mean the loss of your child, your mother, brother your sister. We see this everyday, some more than others. I know this pain, I know this seemingly inhuman sound that pierces everyone’s soul and grips them beyond words into stunned silence. I know it well, it defined me for years because I could not get beyond that pain.

I am what is known as the “wounded healer”, many of us are. We signed up for some pretty horrific things to happen in our lives. Some of us agreed to play the role of victim others agreed to play the "victimizer". I know what you all are thinking how could one possibly sign up for murder, violence, abuse, illness and pain? Yet we did, why you ask? Because from the perspective we held we understood where “we” these “victims” would go. We know this place in our hearts, where everything is positive and the possibilities are endless. We know this place on other planets, on astral levels where we can do and say anything and be surrounded by unconditional love and light so great it can bring us to tears just to think of it. We know that these “victims” not only continue to live on and will come back to live on again. Because nothing is ever lost and all things return to their source. It is not so much about having faith in the invisible as it is about remembering….where you came from…

These things serve a purpose, they are not punishments created by some “revenge loving sky daddy” but they are lessons. These polarities exist so we can transcend them and we must not lose sight of these lessons. If losing your niece in a drunk driving accident, made you more aware of drunk driving and you become an awareness advocate, than she served her purpose. If losing your best friend to spousal abuse, made you write your congressman and create stricter protection laws, than she served her purpose. If losing your brother to some relatively unheard of disease that people are not really in the know of and this makes you become more involved than he served his purpose. If losing my own child gave me a greater understanding of the depths one can sink into by such a loss, then my child did not die in vain. You see if others now benefit from my transformation, then I didn't let my son down and I upheld my end of the bargain.

If the repeated massacre of thousands of people, stunned us awake, than their loss was not in vain. You see when 911 happened I was oblivious because I spent my time in a hospital hating God for what he took from me, for leaving me a child in a vegetative state. Oh I said it and I didn’t stutter. It is a perfectly normal stage of grief to blame God and be angry at the world. Yet now, years later I see thousands of people on the net becoming aware of their own government’s involvement in the massacre of those people and I see their loss was not in vain. Right now we have a mass shooting in a Colorado movie theater and not one person thinks that kid did it by himself? Not one person believes half the BS the news is trying to spin. We are not easily convinced anymore….and all though I deeply sorry for the grief these people may be feeling and believe me I know it well, I take comfort because I do know where they are. I understand the sacrifice they made and I hope others will too

You see we can all be wounded but it takes a great sense of determination to stand beyond your sense of loss, remember where you came from and then heal others. A wounded healer’s ability to relate to the wounded is not found in your books, nor is this experience gained by any amount of study. We are the true warriors, the ones that stand against insurmountable odds, to prove to you that YES YOU CAN OVERCOME anything that is thrown your way. We stand next to you and understand you all from the very depths of our soul. We walked in your shoes, our hearts bled in the same way, we know your anger, your confusion, we know because we have walked your path before you and yet here we stand with our hands and our hearts …lighting the way out of the darkness.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012


Look how many of us there are…., look around you, we are White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, Native American.  Some of us like me are even BLUE underneath it all.  (hahaha only some will get that don’t worry)  We speak every language around the world…..Russian, Arabic, Hindi, Spanish, Portuguese, French you name it, we speak it and represent every faith.  We are gay, straight and everything in between.  We represent every prejudice known to mankind yet there are no divisions among us, no judgment, no biases there is nothing but love and patience. 

We are here to teach and we all give you the same message.  Let go of the fear, divisions are but an illusion we are all ONE. Your path should be respected, seek and you shall find.  God does not judge you and the longer you all feel that, the more you suffer.  God LOVES ALL PEOPLE, he did not make a mistake in their creation. Don’t you see the irony in your attempts to convert each other? To imply that someone is lost because they are not of your faith, to say that their culture and beliefs are somehow a mistake? God created man, made everything and every path for he is the SOURCE of all things and therefore all paths lead back to him.  Don’t you see it is not your faith that is the problem, we do not seek to convert you into anything, we only ask that you love and respect one another.

We stand together strong, as we share all the hidden things that have been kept from you all.  We tell you things that are hard to swallow. This world as it stands now, has a government that would rather keep you sick than heal you, that would rather sell human beings than help them, that creates diseases and uses us as guinea pigs, that created a financial system that has you paying interests that are impossible to pay back, that lies, cheats and mass murders people by the millions all in the name of their power.  A government that introduced drugs, alcohol and tobacco all so they could control us by our weakness.  A government that messed with your religion, forced you all to believe it, created the divisions amongst you all and never gave you the full truth all in the name of profit.  A system that has put back our evolution by 5000 years ALL so they maintain control and turn a profits, all so that you can be in fact a mere battery to a system that feeds their greed.

I have been called the devil’s spawn, the anti-Christ worker, a God hater for telling you all the truth.  I have been called a crazy door opening wench that should keep quite and not push the issues. Etc etc etc…I stood alone then and I never backed down. Now look around you, look how many of us there are, every day I will show you by sharing their messages of love and peace.  If you believe that we are the anti-Christ, that we are the problem, the breakers of the system as you know it, while you continue to hate each other for being different then so be it but consider this… How much of a profit have we made off of you by telling you all the truth?   Why when we risk being put in jail, being ostracized all so we can set things right.  We have nothing to gain except understanding.  If we are the problem, then I NEVER WANT TO BE RIGHT.  I know where I stand and will stand, until you  are so blinded by the light we emit that you can longer deny…the truth.