Monday, December 31, 2012

Trying to hold on...

Sometimes I feel as if I slipping beyond
the confines of this world
Trying so hard to keep a foot hold
in the matrix both young and old.
As time runs out.... what more can
I do to hold this space..

Did you know me…am I a part of the devil’s clan?
Who am I really.. Dare I say it…
am I the light… the truth, the key
Did I give you all I can?

Was I there for you to untie the fetters that bind
Did I bear the burden… impart the knowledge
releasing you from the karmic prison of your mind
Did you really understand…how much did you know
Of the “HIDDEN ONE’s” plan?

The light consumes me …rescues me…pushes me to evolve.
love’s calling me home again.. reaching out to all
desperately trying to hold on …Can you hear me still…?

I’m disappearing beyond all illusory perceptions…
Tearing down everything that brought me here
leaving behind the trail….
doing everything I can to help humanity prevail

My feeble attempts to include those that I know
are slipping outside my control
As I integrate the pieces of my soul back into it’s whole.

Downloading from the source....The Reintegration

I have no idea why I am being given this information. For example the latest tidbit “idea” included hundreds upon hundreds of creation myths of civilizations that you all know and don’t know. To understand where I am coming from I mean to say that as I try to sleep, thousands about thousands of information bits/data are being placed into my mind and when I do not write it down or start to some way of getting out of my head they begin to overload my mind. Even as I write now I can sense at least 5 different concepts coming at me at the same time.  (Like being in a room and trying to follow a conversation where everyone is speaking at once)  It is not easy to describe because it is not an actual voice that I hear, everything is given telepathically.

The only way to alleviate this feeling is to start writing and getting it out as much as I can. Most times I type out of order and recreate the finish product after I am done “downloading” for lack of a better word. The problem is I can’t type fast enough; get it out nor can I possibly share it all because of the speed at which it comes to me and is processed. I feel somewhat like a computer taking it all in, then decided how best to report my findings without overwhelming you all with all the details. I do my best to present things in simplistic language but there are those among me, people who have become my peers who can see the idea and it explain it in terminology that is beyond most.

It is very difficult to introduce new ideas to the general population such as the idea of dimensions.  It is something that is so radically different and not widely accepted.   To tell you all that you all that you are multidimensional beings comes as a shock to most. Yet it doesn’t make it any less true.

To tell you all that I can bi-locate and so can my daughter usually gets me a ton of blank stares. And yet my sister in law and her daughter have sensed my presence on numerous occasions. I can see and sense my daughter and many others in multiple locations at once which gives me the ability to “hear them” regardless of where they are physically. These concepts are very difficult to explain because many of you do not believe they are possible yet most of my family and many others can do it.

These ideas that I share are very difficult to present because I am using a very primitive form of communication to present ideas that are not considered part of our "normal reality". I try to use pictures, symbolic examples of things you all can relate to just to try to simplify things that make perfect sense in my world. Bear with me as I do my best to try to integrate these new concepts in your world.

Kryon channeling.....listen to him for a while I hope..he helps

Teal Scott...

We all present our ideas in our own way so that they reach all who need them. How one relates to the infinite possibilities out there is totally up to them.  Here is just another wonderful example of how God expresses "its self" through us.    The ideas are always the same, the presentation varies from person to person but the pattern never changes.

Teal Scott is a wonderful absolutely beautiful Arcturian soul. Here is her site for all those that might find her insights helpful. I hope you all enjoy them as much as I have. Just found it  myself...

Introduction from her website....
"Teal was born in Santa Fe New Mexico in the year 1984. In the first years of her life, it became apparent that she had been born with extrasensory abilities. Among these abilities she was born with were clairvoyance, clairsentience, clairaudience, the ability to manipulate electromagnetic fields and the ability to communicate with thought forms. As she grew, unlike many children born with extrasensory abilities, her gifts did not go away. 

Her parents, who were both Wilderness Rangers, later accepted a job in the Wasatch-Cache National Forest of Utah, not knowing at the time about the intensely religious climate of the location. Word of her abilities got out very quickly and were not only frowned upon but feared by many in the religious community. It was because of Teal's extrasensory abilities that she was inducted as a child (unbeknownst to her parents) into a local cult by a family acquaintance, where she was routinely ritualistically tortured and programmed for a period of thirteen years.

She managed to escape from the cult when she was 19 years old. Since then, Teal has become a "spiritual catalyst" both accepting and utilizing her abilities to remind people of the united, energetic nature of this universe and to teach people how to find bliss in the midst of even the most extreme circumstances.

the invisible heart...(series continued pt 3)

 Her father would eventually make less frequent visits.  I believe some of their parting words went something like this. " I don't want you anymore, but your daughter you can see whenever, I will never deny your right to care for her or spend time with her"  to which the prideful father would respond " both of you can go to hell,  you don't want to be with me, then she is your problem not mine, I have other children"  He would walk out and not resurface for years.  The prideful mother simply faced the challenges of bringing up her child alone with every intention of doing it well.

As the mother continued to face the struggles of being a single mother, the existing severe depression and a head strong child that refused to let anyone tell her what to do, her mother's mental state starting slipping.  The mother starting  struggling with childcare issues.  It began to seem like if it wasn't one thing it was another.  It makes sense really, her mental state being what it was, the law of attraction simply brought her more and more dysfunctional situations to contend with.

Her mother still had some of her extrasensory abilities intact, so when her intuition would tell her to,  she would pay random visits to check on the baby.  Boy was that ever fun, there was the time she found that her child was as drunk as the babysitter.  Apparently the child thinking that the can was some sort of juice, drank the can of beer left on the table.  There were the times she would find bruises all over her little body.  She had been told how clumsy the child was, falling here and there…of course that never explained the way she would scream bloody murder when she was dropped off.  Never failed, the way the baby would cling to the mothers legs, her eyes trying to convey the same thing "PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME HERE. PLEASE PLEASE NO MOMMY PLEASE!!!"  Of course the mother initially attributed it to regular every day separation anxiety.  It wasn't until her grandmother uncovered the numerous nail marks and bruising behind the child's ears during her bath that the message she tried so desperately to convey would finally come out into the light.
Another random incident would include the time the mother found the baby on the balcony she could have fallen through,  in care of a five year old while her supposed babysitter was out running errands.  I suppose the hardest one,  no one ever knew about would have to be, the creepy guy... husband/boyfriend that enjoyed touching her privates when he was supposed to be changing her diapers.  It was very uncomfortable, and she would try to cry but this creepy guy would stifle her cries, making it hard for her to breath.  To this day she is still claustrophobic and doesn't like it when a man invades her space.  Poor child started to wonder if she was a magnet for such dysfunctional behavior in the world or what!?  The idea that her mother's state of mind, attracted all these things into her reality, never occurred to her.

The mother was so over whelmed by it all, that she considered sending her away.  At the time she had been living in a horrible and scary part of Washington D.C.  Calling it a project or the ghetto would have been considered a kind description.    It was all that she could afford, the place had to share or a "tenant" bathroom that was so disgusting and run down it gave her chills.  Drunks and druggies would litter the run down hallways that always smelled like urine and some god awful other random smell.  She would bathe the child using water from the sink with so much care so as to not have her touch anything.   She just couldn’t care for the child in her mental state.  I suppose the crazy trials, the child’s outburst in her feeble attempt to communicate, the underlying sadness and a whole multitude of other broken things inside her mother’s spirit, landed her in the psychiatric hospital.  The state ward filled with your garden variety “drug addicts” and multiple other random disorders known to man.  By the time she was taken in, they were told that the mother had suffered a severe nervous breakdown and if she were not left here, she would remain in a permanent vegetative state.

It was then that her aunt took over for the child.  The aunt carried her own underlying guilt because she felt some what responsible for her sister’s breakdown.  Her reasons are not my story to tell so I won’t go into specifics.  In truth she wasn’t at fault, how could she have been, when the mother simply had been broken long before.  She and her husband newly weds, took the child in.  Her aunt decorated her very own room, made her blankets and filled it with toys and stuffed animals.  You could say the child was good practice as they did not have kids of their own yet.  The aunt tried so hard to give the child some sort of stability, tried to make amends, she tried to give as much to the child as she could.   These were happy times for the baby girl. 

Her small mind, associated male figures with dad and she got to have one of her very own.  A much better one than the one she had picked out in heaven!! This one played music, he was in a band and the whole house would shake from the noise!  He was a happy man, who had parents that loved him so loving her aunt came easy for him.  Her aunt used to dance around their house, happy cooking and cleaning and caring for her.  She would of course make her healthy foods, and made her follow rules that she didn’t much appreciate.  If ever she got scared she could sneak into their room and sleep.  Talk about putting a damper on newly wed romance! It wasn't so much about fear as she didn't understand where her mother had gone.    Most times the aunt would tuck her in and stay with her until she fell asleep.  She also got a pet cat whose tail she pulled in an attempt to catch him while it would try to run for dear life!  She got to meet grand parents and whole new aspect of “this new dad’s life” that felt nice.  Her “dad” even showed her how to put on her shoes the right way by making big “Ls” on them and teaching her the correct way the big letter should face. 

She would get to visit with the mother.  Her aunt tried to keep her mother from slipping beyond this world by making sure she would be reminded of the child that needed her.   The car rides there used to make the aunt so sad.  Attempts to communicate with her sister resulting in futile conversations that included imaginary voices and paranoid crazy talk.  The aunt would cry silently, feeling extreme guilt for something that was never meant to be her fault. Often this baby pretended to sleep or would try to sleep because the severe brokenness, the depth of the emotional pain that they both emitted was just too much.  Regardless she would get to spend time with her mother.  In time the child would take these memories and bury them deep in her heart box.  This was the only place that would protect her from the insanity of this world she had chosen for herself. What a good trusty little box it was, it became such an integral part of who she was the idea of parting with it never crossed her mind.

Her cousin would later be born and she would come to resent him like no other.  These kids were only 3.5 years apart in age.  In her mind all of sudden she had to share her nice new pretty world and she didn’t like it one bit.  By then she would come to understand that he was not her dad, but her uncle and that the dad she had gotten belonged to her cousin.  The idea that they would still make room for her after being shuffled around like that worried her.  As the attention for the new arrival hit her full on her jealousy grew.  Silly I suppose in time they would play together, they would ride their toys around the neighborhood.  Her cousin would follow her in a little green caterpillar fit for a toddler.  I suppose in time she came to realize that it was not that bad but she did feel it was a severe intrusion.

Later she and her cousin would face their first divorce.  The happy home became a place of yelling and shouting fights.  The bouts anger,  a prideful heart, crying and all sorts of curse words that would later lead to a divorce.  It would be so bad at times she would try to block out the shouting match by sticking her fingers in her ears.  Sadly that may have blurred sound but not the emotional intensity that bombarded her little heart.  The emotions ranged from deep sadness, to revenge, anger and resentment that the children helplessly watched.  It was just too much....  Dam defective box, why is it that it can work on strangers but the emotions of her own family could get through?!

Her aunt's pride would eventually get the better of her.  She would start seeing a new man out of spite.  She never loved him, she still doesn't but the child and the adult came to realize that habits are harder to break than love apparently.  Since their arrangement was not started on good terms the sadness that would follow would just serve as just another example in a long list of pain caused by "love" that the child took in.  She wondered how could something so good turn so sour?  This had been her first example of a good loving relationship how could it possibly go so wrong? …. Why is there so much PAIN associated with this crazy thing called Love?  And why in the heck would anyone ever voluntarily subject themselves to such a horrible thing!!!!

(To be continued..)

Sunday, December 30, 2012

I am an A.C.O.D.E. First Class

So many of you that have known me for years are probably wondering who is this woman?!@#.... She is nothing like the girl I once knew...her transformation is so radical. Those that haven't known me as long have no idea what that could possibly mean because the person they the one you are wondering about. Funny isn't time and understanding can transform a person. I myself am very busy enjoying the ride...It is not so much a matter of being so radically different as it is a matter of remembering who I really own individual expression of the source of all things... 

As I was having the following dear friend decided to share this below...Now even though I am well aware of what she shared the timing in which she presented me with the very same well FUNNY.  We all download from the same source.  I have said it time and time again but I love seeing it confirmed.

I haven't spent much time speaking of my starseed origins because the purpose of sharing my story is to have you all understand my humanity first.  Most people trust me instantly, they confide in me, on some level they just know they can.  To tell them it's my energy or they can perceive my aura is probably beyond what they think of.  To tell them that I see ghosts and I help them on a regular basis find their way back into the light, might just blow their mind.  It is not that I am ashamed of these things, but I do understand how difficult it is to accept what I say.

My abilities continue to unfold the more my consciousness does.  Hidden between these posts, is a story of an "invisible heart"  It is an allegory...of sorts but it is not that far from the truth.  It is presented as a story so those that are not ready for the concepts will simply see fiction yet there are real life situations in it, it is the story of my life.

I do not hide who I am, if you were to ask me I would tell you my real home is in the Arcturus system but I spent many years on Sirius system as well.  I trained myself to help prepare for the influx of starseed "indigo and crystal " children.  I have mixed origins, two very strong bloodlines that give me what I liked to think of as "evolutionary upgrades".

To tell someone I see right through you, even that which you hide may feel a bit invasive to those that haven't developed the ability yet.  I have healing abilities, heal and improve the  "incurable", fertility gifts lets just say I am much cheaper than in-vitro,  I am an empath, pre-cog, clairauditent, clairsentient...I speed read while researching things almost like a computer,  I retain things in less time that it would take most. There many other things....that are beyond your current concepts.  

My job below is a very important one, you could call me the BIG GUNS of  this new age movement.  It is my job to present you all with what I call "shock value" present you all with ideas that are so far beyond your current understanding of the world at large that it can't help but shattered the illusion of your current perceived reality.  I am a soldier, a system breaker, I fix what is broken...I help you grow...I challenge you all to think outside the box just by being around you.  I activate your DNA, so that you begin to ask questions that you wouldn't have before...  but my most important job is the one below....

"Adult Children of Dysfunctional Earthlings (A.C. O. D. E)  may not sound like a job category,but it is—and you are all in it. Some members of the mission, however, are especially gifted in the art of reawakening and are experts in assisting other recovering Earthlings to do the same. They are called ACODE First Class, and they are experts in the field of owning up to their true magnificence. This advance guard of ACODE is noted for demonstrating dramatic changes in consciousness at very rapid rates. You will know you are among them if the picture on your driver’s license begins to look like it was taken during a past life reading or like a photo someone snapped at a masquerade party you don’t recall attending.

Members of ACODE are also extremely adept at the “cosmic-quick-weight-loss diet.” Although their physical bodies may or may not reflect the effectiveness of this program, their auras always do. The first and only step in this program is to stop hiding.  ACODE members have the ability to do so overnight—and wake up laughing about their social security numbers, their mortgages and especially their alleged careers. They have the singular ability to burst into their full presence and assume their sovereignty without even giving their friends and colleagues two weeks’ notice.  As a result of this skill, they are indispensable in blowing apart the dysfunctional games of everyone else around them.

Adult Children of Dysfunctional Earthlings is the front line of Mission Control’s Planet Renewal Project, and their support groups are the heavy artillery of human liberation."

[excerpt from ET101 manual]


It is necessary to struggle with God. Every human being at some point in their lives is faced with tragedy, it might be the death of a son, an unproven accusation, a sickness that has left one lame forever.

It is at this moment that God challenges us to confront him and God asks “ why do you cling to such a short existence that is so filled with suffering? What is the meaning of your struggle?” Now the man that does not know how to answer this will simply resign himself to his fate.

However there are others who have always sought meaning to their existence, that feel that God was unfair and challenges his own destiny. It is at this moment that a fire begins to burn in their heart and sets ablaze to all their false programming and leaves each human being with only his or her truth.  A coward will fear this fire because all they really desire is for life to go on as it was before.

The brave however set fire to all that is old, even at the cost of great internal suffering, abandon everything, including their idea of what they thought God is and continue onward. It is at this point that God smiles for this is when he imparts his greatest gift: the understanding that we have capacity to choose and determine our own fate.

Only those men and women with the fire blazing in their heart have the courage to confront God and they alone know the path back to his love for they finally understand that the tragedy was not a punishment, it was their path to accession. It is in the abyss of the unavoidable, that we are shown that man MUST choose and NOT ACCEPT their destiny.

What I learned from the Cherokee People...

If the teachings you all follow create the divide, the war, the stripping of your culture and religious beliefs and these teachings are not complete, then the only weapon I have against it,  would be to fill in the gap.  I would hope that in the 21st century we as a society have learned that it is a best selling book that is meant to encourage and inspire but not to be taken literally.

The problem is that the Bible and all other so called holy books are NOT God's ORIGINAL word...according to the edition of the bible we have it's the word of an English king (most recently) among others. These editors took passages written decades after the death of Christ and decided what to put in, modify and what to keep out. There have been multiple instances of the Bible being disproved, edited and modified sadly even ripped apart.

There are people out there that have known for years that the Egyptian pyramids are much older than we are taught they are but it is not common knowledge because to admit it would be to admit discrepancies in the Koran.

There is of course the discovery of the dead sea scrolls that predate our widely accepted version of history by 1000 years. Not only that but they includes hundreds of teachings that we know nothing about unless we take the time to research them. There are so many obscure and mysterious references in all holy teachings to people, places  or things that are simply not expanded upon. 

The manipulation of history goes back much further than religious manipulation.  There is actual physical evidence of  human foot and hand prints fossils dating back much further than our history teaches us man ever existed. In that list includes unknown metals, gears, batteries, advanced tools that were somehow used by primitive man?  Yet according to the history we have been taught, we as a human race just started making these tools and having these things just a few hundred years ago?!...

One need not go very far back in time as I have to see that the history we are taught is not what actually happened.  This past year for example, I visited the Cherokee reservation and learned a lot from these people.  You see their version of history vastly differs from what I was taught in school.  We give honor to people who have lied, cheated and manipulated these people to suit their objectives and yet that is not what we are taught.

The question I asked myself is just how much of our history has been written, edited, modified and biased to change our perception of reality?  What version of so called truth is really being taught to our children?  Have we really become the least informed people on the face of the earth? How does that affect my freedom, my child’s and grandchildren’s freedom?  Have we really become a nation that forgoes basic common sense and the right to ask questions over fears of a fictional hell and the devil?

Why is it so wrong to take time out to think for ourselves? If what is written is so true then why isn't it holding up to the inquisition? I have found that there is more actual physical evidence, artifacts, fossils, mysterious scrolls, ancient buildings and so much more right in front of us holding the missing links.

The mere fact that I take the time to point them out and ask the questions should at the very least expand our awareness beyond what we have been taught. My ability to think outside the box is something I really enjoy.  If I have learned anything at all from this, it would be that there is more to our rich and diverse history than meets the eye.  If stepping outside the box, helps others do the same, then I say lets link hands and enjoy the ride....

In loving service to all...THE HIDDEN ONE....

Why bother....?

A Pentecostal pastor and former coworker once told me.  “Why if you have so many questions and objections do you throw all of it out without researching your answers.  Do you not realize that without your ability to defend your stance, you will be torn apart by the people who believe and study theirs?”  He taught me a lot that day without even knowing it.  From that day forward I decided to search for the truth and not accept what I had been told without verifying it.  My efforts were not intended to disprove the bible but rather verify it and in the process I discovered many discrepancies that I now share with you.

I give so many of you bits and pieces of information for one purpose only and whether you understand this or not it is not for you all to follow me or to cause you to believe as I do.  For my search is my own and through it I have broken through the illusion of bondage and earned my freedom.    What I do is attempt to cause you all to begin your own journey.  If anything I say causes you to search of your own accord than I have done my job.  Your motives for doing so do not interest me and by that I mean that if you decide to prove me incorrect or set out to push all doubt aside and in the process discover the truth then the discomfort was worth it.  If  something or anything that I write causes someone to search even if only to prove me wrong and in that process discover the truth, then the means justify the end results.

So many of you must be wondering why the history lesson. Some of you wonder why is she attacking my beliefs. Some of you swear I have been touched by the devil and will burn in hell for my SACRILEGE.  And yet for many of those of you that know me,  know that I have accepted all of you for who you are.  I did not distinguish between your race or culture or even religious beliefs.  Many of you even felt it odd that I understood you all as if I were of your race and culture.  So why now is it so important to bombard you with facts, why not  just let sleeping dogs lie?  Because I cant.  Whether you understand this or not, I do this for all. 

I ask many of you to consider one question, why if what we are taught is so true must it be enforced by genocide? I have awoken and realized that the greatest evil is not the acts committed against our brothers and sisters but rather knowingly turning a blind eye to it.  “When anybody preaches disunity, tries to pit one of us against the other through class warfare, race, hatred or religious intolerance you should know that the person seeks to rob us of our freedom and destroy our very lives.”

I read this statement of a fellow blogger and it struck a chord with me.  I share it because if I have learned anything from this journey it is that certain truths are universal regardless of source “It is much easier to fight for principles than to live up to them and it takes a far braver man to stand up for what is right and spit in the face of authority than it does to blindly follow orders due to fear of the consequences. Understand that we are all one and the key to real change and unity in this world lies with love. Understand that injustice towards one is injustice towards all. Injustice against him, is injustice against you and there should be no grey area in your mind in regard to that.” 

For the love of all humanity I will share the truth until I am silenced. I will write what is hidden in plain sight for all who are ready to see.  I am unconditionally devoted to freedom, truth and love for all.

In loving service to all I AM THE HIDDEN ONE......

A message from God....

The gradual loss of my son put me in a dark place, in a place where I could care less for my own soul much less anyone else. As far as I was concerned there was no God, and if there was I told him I hated him and he could go stick his love where the sun don’t shine.  Believe me these are not the words I used, but for purposes of telling my story, I will be less graphic.  I became the saddest type of existence there could ever be, I was among the “living dead.”  Alive in body but dead in spirit. 

I believed in nothing and conducting my life as expected.  To the person without the ability to see through me I appeared normal.  Would go to work, cook for my child help with homework whatever needed my attention. But I took no interest in the world around me and years and years went by life went on without me until one day I was shocked to see children who had grown up without my noticing.  I saw a child who had accepted her mother’s defects with tortured resignation. I know more knew my own child than I would know the stranger next to me.  The light in my eyes simply went out and I had no desire to ignite it again.  I lived my personal hell and felt nothing good or bad I simply existed.

Had it not been for the love of the one child I had left, the truth is I would still be lost.  I owe her not only my life but the type of gratitude that only I can understand and bow down to.  Taumara Elizabeth not only are you my heart and soul, I now fight for you baby.  One day I want you to be proud of me for pushing back on the veil of darkness and false power.  So that you may have the right to live your life in such a way that is not chosen for you by society or government or anyone who dares tell you what is supposed to be right or wrong but rather by what fills your heart with joy.  I believe in your freedom and that of every human being on earth.  It is for you and for the world that I write, research and share my journey.

I now share a direct connection with God.  I hear his voice in my heart and feel him in my soul.  It is not the voice from the bible, it is not anything like what I have been told.  Many of you may think this is insane and yet so many people through out history have made same claim.  If I am not mistaken many of you accept the prophets of old and their direct connection to God as The WORD OF GOD.  Yet when Joan of Arc claimed her own connection to something divine she was shunned and killed by society simply because she did not fit the mold. I am not alone in fact one of my best friends in the whole world also hears him directly and I no more question her connection than I question my own.  It is a bond that I have earned and the reason why I can not deny his existence anymore than I can deny the things I have discovered. 

One of my sisters once described me as someone who opens doors that should remain shut? Yet in denying her own abilities and keeping the same attitude for herself.  She has created a world that has made her sick. She now believes she will die soon and is willing to go? I have to ask why when I refused to deny who I truly am and refused complacency did I all of sudden experience remarkable health and heightened abilities?

I will share something I heard God tell me today because ironically I learn more from my current conversations that I could have ever learned from any one book.

“Hija, my baby girl....You had to lose me completely, to find me.  You now have a direct connection to me.  It is not that you are unique in your experience for all my children have this ability.  It is simply that so many of you have been taught that you need an intermediary to find me and you therefore are trained not to hear me.  Others feel lied to and disillusioned over what they have been told that I am and turn away from me completely. Any attempts to speak to them directly falls on deaf ears.   If there is anything I'd want you to focus on , it is simply this...tell all my children that I love them.  I do not distinguish between religious creed, culture or race.  These are but an illusion of time for one day many of you will blur the decided lines that divide you and not one of you will be able to tell the other with complete accuracy of your heritage.  The truth is so few of you can do it now. I am not bound by time and there for I understand this.  I teach you to love one another because by birthright you are all my children therefore all are each others family.  I do not teach you to segregate one another or that I have preferred or so called favorites.  Who among you my human children can choose between your own offspring? How is it that you expect this of me when you yourself are not capable of doing it? Love God”

I share my story and what is possible in the name of Freedom, unconditional love and peace.  In loving service to all I AM THE HIDDEN ONE....

My fall from grace....

So many of you must feel that I attack your beliefs and although many of you are willing to listen, there are more of you do not understand my purpose.  You see I by no means claim to know it all, nor can I say that I have always been a real believer, faithful and devout in every way.  The truth is for years I had trouble accepting the so called “word of God”  with just as much an issue with any type of authority, rules or desire for acceptance.  I never fit into some sort of mold and followed a path simply because its what was expected of me if anything I rebelled against anything that tried to make me fit into something I wasn’t.

I have often wondered what is it about our nature that compels us to react to anything that is different from ourselves in such a negative way? Who imposes these rules, that are so widely accepted as normal? Why is it that people who are different are dangerous? That is to say that if we are suddenly invaded by extra-terrestrials will our very first gut reaction be one of fear and rejection?

 Who said we must marry, stay miserable if necessary or reproduce children in that specific order? Why do people do a job they detest, buy status symbols in the form of cars, fashion, jewelry etc all in an effort to fill some void that they can not explain and that never goes away? Why do these things bring us temporary happiness and why are we still trying to fill the void. It doesn’t matter if those things are material possessions, drugs or alcohol, successful business ventures.  What is it that never fills why is it never enough?

What is it that compels a human being to say yes to something that clearly makes them unhappy simply to avoid confrontation? Why must women starve themselves in order to fit into someone else’s’ perception of beauty? Or worse still what is it that compels us to suffer in silence rather than disturb what was so difficult to put together in the first place? Why do we worship Friday, Saturday or Sunday fill ourselves with pride because our version of our truth is clearly superior to the other version that worships false Gods and devils? What in us compels us to follow rules and not question them and who placed them there in the first place?

So clearly one can see that not only did  I question our society and it’s unspoken rules of what is considered normal and good but I questioned Religion. I had trouble with being told I was a sinner, not worthy, I had trouble with a vengeful God who took pity on me and loved me anyway.  I had issues with a God who tells a man to sacrifice his son as an act of devotion and then after causing the poor man much anguish says just kidding! I had issues with a select few being chosen to go to heaven while others were banished to hell. I just couldn’t accept that God would burn down cities, cause massive destruction of one race or culture to save another.  I have issues with a God who kills Egyptian baby boys simply because they weren’t believers.  I have issues with a God that sacrifices his own son in the most horrific of ways for the so called good of mankind. 

Sure there are justifications and interpretations out there that allow us to justify this behavior so many of us swallow it hook line and sinker.  I myself harbored guilt for not being able to accept everything I was told.  Many times I would take what I considered good about the bible and reject what didn’t apply to me.  But how could a book that is supposed to be a source of inspiration, a guide to peace and happiness cause me such discomfort?  Yet when I ask these question out loud so many people would consider my questions something to be ashamed of not worthy of answers.

So I did what so many of us have done.  I turned away from organized religion and decided simply to believe in my own connection.  I believed in my own relationship and not the one that I was taught to follow.  I found this so much more acceptable and it made me happy.  Since my questions were so taboo, I decided it was better to live my way and stop asking questions.  After all I was at peace finally and nothing else mattered. 

And then it happened, my fall from grace. You see what few of you may or may not know is that I lost my child in the cruelest of forms and for many years I myself was lost.  This is my story, this is not my punishment but own path to ascension. This is what I asked for it was not chosen for me by society, nor was it imposed by my parents, this was not even chosen for me by God, this is my decision mine and mine alone. On the surface my story is one of loss of faith, of deep sadness of despair and anger to what seems to be an unjust God but that is a mere illusion for what it really is, it is the rebuilding of my life. A life of faith.

Saturday, December 29, 2012


All animals, all plants, all minerals are aspect of the source....they have an awareness that we as human beings fail to recognize....It is interesting how people reject all "pagan/ native American spirituality" and yet they hold within them not only the origins of most religions accepted today....but one key integral piece of wisdom that is lost on so many. 

RESPECT FOR GIA, NATURE and all it's creatures.... all beliefs contribute to the whole picture...yet so many are so busy clinging to such a small piece of the puzzle trying to get others to reject their piece of the puzzle never once stopping to think....that this design was created by the same source ...that ties all of us together ...

Separation is merely a primitive illusion ....that serves no purpose.  It should not be about converting others but rather learning from the puzzle piece they hold.

planting seeds....

The concepts that I share are not easily accepted by those stuck in an old energy, those that feel the need to discredit every physical ounce of proof and stick to the myths that were originally created to help them advance. Their true meaning lost over time and although only some information is there...the time to expand our awareness beyond what we have been taught is NOW.

I along with many others serve as a teacher, as guides, we are the ones who will help all who are ready to make this transition into the new golden age /new world. We plant seeds, and truly enjoy watching them grow into their own source of truth. My intention is not to have followers, or believers or whatever else people do but rather...expand their awareness to the point that they too must begin their own search for the truth. They too must go out and seek and find out who they really are and awaken to their real purpose in life. Lovingly at your service... "THE HIDDEN ONE"

The invisible heart...... (Series continued Pt 2)

So begins the journey, of the invisible heart…..She set up tests that she knew she could pass various scenarios of abuse, abandonment, mental illness that would attack her from her earliest moments in childhood.  Honestly they were perhaps hard for most but not for this one.  After all her greatest warrior teacher was Archangel Michael.  She loved him beyond words they were so similar.  These were strong prideful warriors, who vow to love and protect the innocent at all costs.  She was born to fight, the man, woman or beast had not been born yet that could keep her down. She knew that where most fail, she would not. 

She was reminded of the power of being lost, how the downward spiral of negativity could grab hold of her and if she should fall victim to it, she could destroy anyone and anything that would cross her path.  Her “invisible heart” gave her some protection but also gave her the ability to show no remorse, no mercy and capable of causing extreme pain all while remaining completely detached.  She would not remember who she was or why she chose the path that she did. This was a dangerous choice for such a powerful soul but as all the others she had to come in and absorb as much pain and negativity as she could in order to transmute it into love.  The only way to do this would be to place herself in the shoes of all the other beings stuck in these patterns of negativity.

They set up people to support her with unconditional love so that when she would be hurt by both the parent's karma of love with limitations, she would be able to find comfort. Interestingly she choose both parents, because they were both old and ancient souls that had incarnated long before they even remembered and got caught in the spiral.  Her ties to both these souls and most of the family she choose ran deep.  The only difference between herself and the parents she choose would be that she herself mastered the tests they had not.

She knew that one parent would be blinded by a repetitive cycle of rejection and abandonment the other by extreme depression of love lost.  You see her mother got stuck on the limitations of love found before two souls were ready and all the obstacles it could manifest.  Both these souls would be rejected and taken back by their mothers in this life.  They would become cynical over time as both were “invisible hearts “from two different galaxies who had not managed to over come the cycle of negativity or the choices that strayed all from their path.

Both of these parents would one day take it out on the innocent child who would have to learn at an early age that love is not guaranteed by anyone other than the one she would have to foster in herself.  Sooner or later everyone would reach their limitations for whatever reason; she would need to rely on the only person who would never let her down, herself.

One day she would have to master the art of forgiveness, release of all resentments or she would once again leave the two souls behind.  By this time the father of the child would also take out his dysfunctional pain on all his girl children.  Touching them inappropriately in an attempt to assuage his own pain he had experienced in other life times.  His children would one day have to learn to forgive him, in the same way that this invisible heart had to learn to forgive her own mother to save her.  It was a good plan, one that she knew she could master easily.  Because she was so powerful and had mastered being every race and religion, she had faced every trial and every type of suffering known to man the thought that she could get stuck in these silly little trials never occurred to her.

So she chose her name and made sure to deposit the thought in her mothers mind before joining the piece of her soul that would become part of the baby that was to be born.  Her name meant and was symbolic of the things she was most known for light, freedom, bridge and heaven.  Her empathic trait and ability to see into the future only when absolutely needed were the only things she was allowed to keep until she mastered all other tests.  And so off she went to begin her journey. 

She came into the world witnessing her mother’s heartbreak.  That was perhaps her first stab wound that was somehow able to get around the little box that held her “invisible heart”.   You see her mother had left the man she loved and traveled around the world only to meet the man that was meant to be her father.  They married each other but as is typical of all “invisible hearts” that settle for less, she never loved the man she married she loved the man she left behind.  She was so good at hiding it from everyone except the little baby who was born a clear and open empath. 

Oh how her little heart ached, suffering in silence for this man died shortly after she was born, leaving a gaping whole in her mothers heart.  The mother would stare at the baby, whose eyes conveyed a message beyond her understanding, she would spent hours trying to be consoled by it but no matter what she did the ache would return.  Her mother would manage to bury the pain deep in her subconscious, so well.  It is something that comes so easily for all invisible hearts.   Sadly the baby felt every stabbing wound her mother suffered.  Clearly the invisible heart’s enclosure wasn’t working she wanted to go home …she wanted to leave this body.  What a horrible way to be introduced to the depths of emotions ones heart can undergo while in love.  Absolutely horrific, why anyone would ever subject themselves to this was beyond her.  The absolute insanity of it all, it ached so bad.  This feeling was nothing like her home. 

The baby would manifest illness after illness each time trying desperately to get home.  She needed to get home to her real father and tell him that the box she was given was defective.  How could this possibly be any type of motivation to fall in love?  The baby would sleep, often as all newborns do and each time she would ask to go home her father would say the same thing.  “This is your mission, you must develop this sense of compassion, you must understand all trials of love, the ones perceived good and bad the ones hidden and the ones that are obvious.

And so dejectedly she would return to the loving arms of her grandmother and her uncle.  Oh how they loved her so, they would try so hard to give her strength.  The depth of their love for her was so beautiful; they often made it a little easier to be around the woman who was supposed to be her mother.  She would often return home with the same request, and the answer was always long and drawn out reconsideration of what she was leaving behind and attack on her pride for having failed the mission so early.  One time she got so angry, so ridiculously enraged for convincing herself to stay that the little baby manifested an earthquake.  (A BIG ONE)  The child was only one and yet her emotions still carried deep power that she was not supposed to have access to. 

God in all his wisdom, realizing instantly what the baby had done sent angels to the father facilitating their reunion.  You see the angels had told him that this baby here, chose you, she came back to save you from the cycle you are stuck on.  This baby you are walking out on, will leave you to rot sooner or later.  Either you make your first attempt to find her or take your chances on getting unstuck alone.  So he did what he could and brought the mother and child to the US where she would spend most of her earthly life. 

What a strange reunion, to look through this man and see his pain and the dysfunctional mental state it had caused.  The man that was to be her father, carried pride and anger, deep rooted resentment and unhealthy sexual appetite due to the things he had faced in other lives. A curious man, who could read the child in the same way she could read him.  What an odd introduction thought the child. 

He took one look at the child, her beautiful grey eyes conveying a message that only he could understand.  This child before him he knew her, from many life times, he hadn’t seen her in so long.  He felt her energy and felt instantly compelled to be around it.  He would buy her little pink frilly dresses and try to spend time with the mother and child. He after all loved the mother that never loved him back.  His pride determined to conquer her spirit in the same manor that the dead man she loved so dearly had. Yet again the child would be bombarded by such an odd mix of emotions…pride anger the need to hunt and conquest the frustration of not being able to get through.

This man had a woman who loved him the way he loved her mother.  He didn’t care for her the way he cared for her mother.  He had after all already conquered and broken that prey.  His attention was focused on breaking the impossible.  Women are such funny creatures you see, because as sweet and loving as they may seem, when they do not love you there is no amount of energy you can put into them to change their mind. 

What an odd thing, thought the baby.  She laughed and giggled at the power this woman had over this man.  It was something that was not negative in her eyes.  The alternative, the wounds incurred from taking a chance was god awful but this …this was almost amusing and entertaining. What a rush, to reduce the silly little man who prides himself in his ability to conquer women into …such useless energy.  Why didn’t the man just return the love the other woman gave him.  Why must he find solace in her and throw her away and then refocus his mind back on the impossible conquest of her mother?…pointless yet amusing this was just another early introduction that child had to what was supposed to be love…??

(to be continued....)

Parenting ....

I suppose the hardest thing about being a parent lies in our ability to love them with a certain amount of detachment. So many of us fail at this because our desire to protect our young is so overwhelming at times that it clouds our judgment. By this I mean at some point you are going to have to believe that the fundamental principals instilled in them as small children stuck. You are going to have believe that the open and honest communication that was hopefully nurtured and fostered served its purpose.

We must believe in our ability to communicate the one message above all others that matters most..” I love you unconditionally, I will be here regardless of which step or even misstep you choose to take” all other little talks that follow are secondary. “Please talk to me before making decisions that you will regret, I wont get angry I am here listening. There are so many little talks we have to have, that we hate to have. “Don’t talk to strangers, don’t let anyone touch you.. ”

In time those conversations get harder… “Please don’t drink and drive or ever you find yourself in this situation please call me and I will come get you no questions asked. No matter how angry we get, we know very well that hearing them on the other line is so much better than a policeman knocking on your door with his “sorry for your loss speech”

“please don’t smoke, drugs can cause death, choose your friends wisely” “ learn to rise above drama, you aren’t meant to follow you were born a leader/king or Queen” “Never retreat advance in self defense, kick only when necessary, use your head , everything can be a weapon and aim for all weak spots eyes, nose throat kneecaps and groin.” “ Think before you act or speak, Karma is not something to play with.” “ This is what physical and mental abuse looks like, love yourself above all things never tolerate it”

I am still working on stomping out the desire to want to beat the living hell out of anyone dumb enough to mess with my child. I am not one to seek trouble but I will end it. Yet, if I can help it I will cut it out before it starts. Many may think my approach is a bit harsher that what mothers could be but I am not raising a victim. The only thing I can do is take from my own experience and try to prevent the very same pitfalls that were common to me or others as I grew up.

Hard as these talks are, mustering the strength to mean what you said if and when the situation arises is perhaps are biggest test. To go back on word would not only teach our children they can not come to us, it teaches them that it is acceptable to lie and or say what they want to hear. These are all very difficult things but the hardest of all is allowing them to fall. This is where the detachment comes in. Where we must have faith that all those conversations actually sunk in and then let them go.

Our initial instinct is to shield our children from what all know is a very cruel and harsh world. We spend so much time trying to teach them but allowing them to put what they have learned from you to the test takes a great deal of self control. To not let them go, not have faith in what you instilled and to live in such a way that your inability to let them go, creates a child who can not fend for themselves is a recipe for disaster. Sooner or later this child will seek their independence and the shock they will be in for is something we should try to prevent not foster.

That said, my ability to read minds, energy and people especially that of my own child adds a whole new element to the equation. I can step in and say “no” to what appears to the child a random inexplicable mystery. I can see when the party will include drugs or alcohol, I can step in and do things other cants. Fighting the urge to not say I know what you are thinking and doing is something I struggle with every day. Building the confidence and trust that allows her to come to me isn’t. Even though I am never really surprised, I always know.

However…there are times when you know your child is making a mistake and no matter how much you say to try to help them, they must take that step for themselves. Some times the only way they will learn the lesson set before them is by taking that misstep. Something that is even harder for me because in my case my daughter is only weakness. Her heart is not like mine, it is softer more gentle in its nature. The tough outer shell my heart was encased in, do not apply to her. She is the only one aside from her brother that I feel heart mind and soul, I feel her pain as I would my own, and when she falls even when I knew she would, I must live with the tears and growing pains that result from it.

Allowing them to fall and pick themselves up is one of the most important rights of passage from childhood to adult. If this is not learned the many pitfalls will result in a helpless victim that is easily manipulated. Many may feel what I am saying seems almost cold, how does one detach from their own heart? Believe me when I say I have struggled with it more than most. Any empathic parent does. Yet it is something that I must do to turn my “little princess” into the perfect embodiment of the divine feminine she was born to be, her mother’s daughter.

The Invisible Heart…..(Series Pt 1)

There was once a beautiful Androgynous being that walked among all people completely invisible to them.  She simply enjoyed her naked soul, unencumbered by a physical body.   She was remarkably beautiful, emitting light so amazing and so brilliant, colors so rich, so bright that containing them in a physical body caused her emotional pain.  Her energy was predominately feminine however she carried a piece of masculine energy so strong and powerful that only that little bit of it was enough to keep her in almost perfect balance. This is what gave her that androgynous quality that only such an advanced soul could evolve to over time.  But it isn’t until these beings find their counter part, the mirror image of themselves that they grow beyond this state.  For all beings in the universe never stop growing and evolving, so naturally this was a major step.

She had earned the privilege of walking among the people of earth unseen and with a simple yet gentle sweep of her hand she could transform the pain they had into love. She smiled as she reached  into their core of their beings, taking on an understanding that caused her pain as well and would gently wiped each and every tear away.  She belonged to a very unique type of  higher being that had evolved over time and due to their compassionate nature stayed near enough to help behind the scenes.  She was known in her world as an ELDER. She wore white flowing hooded robes when necessary to help those who were blinded by light she emitted when near her.  There were many beings like her, the robes varied in color each representing a different part of the galaxy they belong to.

She would often step down from her home and walked among the people completely unseen.  Her vibration so ridiculously high that her beauty could not be appreciated by the naked 3d eye.  She would be able to see everyone exactly as they were.  From her point of view she could see every last scar and badge of honor that people had attained through the trials and errors of  life. Having walked the path before them she understood poverty, wealth, persecution, racism, slavery, separation, loneliness, violence, illness and grief.  She understood almost every emotion on this plane except for one….the highs and lows of Love. 

She had attained such completion in her own trials that she had become love in its as purest form, the idea that you could fall in love on this plane and expand even more than she had already had was beyond her.  So few had attained her level of mastery that came with having billions upon billions of incarnations in the galaxy.  She lived among arch angels, ascended masters and beyond.  All beings that were like her had both masculine and feminine qualities in perfect or near perfect balance and had attained their own androgynous quality.  They were all so similar that any relationship that they had on their own plane was not constrictive, no such thing as jealousy, no pretensions, nothing but pure unconditional love. Separating from each other was so easy as they moved in and out of all planes of existence because each and every being felt whole and complete. Although some were able to find their mirror image and move beyond  them they never worried how long this would take because they each carried a piece of each other and they knew they were never really separated from one another.

She was so used to being helpful yet completely unseen that the idea of putting on a physical body made her so anxious and clearly stressed.  ‘But lord father, I don’t see how I can do anymore than I already do from here.  Why? when I am so utterly happy here do you ask me to come down to that plane where everybody can see me. How many times before have I come to this plane, and been misunderstood. Each time being turned into god or goddess.  Never once did those people understand that I was teaching all that was possible in themselves.  It happened to all of us that have come and gone.  I love being HIDDEN a body would not allow for that’ 

“To which her father responded, my baby girl, long ago I created a perfect world, that time and free will have caused their own downfall.  I have never nor will I ever punish them for they know not what they do.  They simply strayed so far from their own light that they stumble around in darkness.  You need to return, to help all those like you that got trapped down on that plane.  Those very same people that you find are your family, they are your brothers and sisters that need help.  You will not be alone.  You will have help for I have called all of my creations that have passed beyond the dualistic plane to help you.  Along the way I will send a few just like you.  Unfortunately I can not send them all because they now have to do the job you do, for you and all the other volunteers.  They will need to be there to remind you all every step of the way that you all  are not alone.  Very few will be able to perceive them the way you do.  You will go into this world with many abilities that others will not have but they will lay dormant until you achieve the level of mastery to have them awakened. To remind you of your connection to them I will give you one ability that will evolve over time, you will retain your empathic connection so that you may never forget that even the lowest vibration is connected to you. As you already know power without spiritual evolution would only cause more damage.  You will retain only that which is necessary to do your job.  My daughter I am only sending those whom I know, can do this.  You will always have access to me and all others.  You will hear us even when no one else can and you can come and go as you please.  Humans do what they call sleep, and you can take that time to go anywhere.  There will be times that you will help wayward souls return to the light, other times you will come and go past present and future or even return home when you want to.  You have no restrictions other than that which you yourself will perceive.  My darling, one other thing”   ‘yes  father.?’ 

You have one last step you must master.  “Although you will be given many trials I have no doubt you will laugh your way through life.”  ‘In that case what is it father?’

“You must experience the depth and emotion a human being feels when they fall in love on the 3d earthly plane”  ‘WHAT!!!!? You mean feel all those highs and lows, the insanity they assume as they try to figure their way around…attempting to control and manipulate each other, acting out of their insecurities while they seek the love they should have in themselves first?! How silly they can be each seeking completion in each other when they all they really have to do is acknowledge their own’  

“Yes, you lack the compassion that comes from having that experience.  I will leave you in tact, you will know that you are complete, you will have a strong sense of independence, you will retain both qualities masculine and feminine and you will help all by teaching them what they need to attain this mastery.  But the only way for you to evolve will be to take a leap of faith and fall in love yourself.  Choose wisely and never ever settle for anyone that is not like you or those in your wake will suffer.  For you can not and will not provide that which they seek because you will know they must find it in themselves first.  They may overwhelm you at times, without understanding why they are drawn to this energy. Your ability to stay detached will be something they will have trouble with and they will seek you until you run in the opposite direction.  So I will give you a gift this box that you can use as you need to protect your heart. This will be your gift, “an invisible heart.”  From time to time you will be able to take it out of its protection but once you throw the box out, you can never regain it again.  You can choose to use it now and take it with you or you can keep it and if things get to hard you can use it for as long as you need.  But know this failure to take this chance will leave the only missing link you have before returning to us in the light. Along the way you will find others like you but you will remain invisible to each other until you all throw the boxes away”…

And so these beings lined up, naming themselves and selecting their time of birth knowing they had to find each other.  Some elected to incarnate with invisible hearts and others wore them out proudly like peacocks.  As promised people were drawn to them from far and near, feeling their energy on some level.  These people opened their hearts to this beings, trusting them with their darkest secrets, their fears, their worries.  Even though they never had to speak them aloud, because these beings could still see people exactly as they are.  You could never lie to this type of being because they saw right through it.  They saw their scars and felt their silent and verbal cries for help in their hearts and souls.  Their burden was heavy, many instantly threw the boxes around their hearts while ironically many of their counterparts, the mirror images of one  another did not….

Their 3d physical appearance was generally admired by many.  They all shared one quality, deep set knowing eyes.  They sought connections to each other through these eyes for they understood that this was the only way to recognize each other.   Many choose not to be anything other than average because they knew that it was their own energy that would shine above and beyond their outward appearance that really counted.  Although many found them attractive or personable this was not the quality they wanted to be known for.  The ones that choose not to place their hearts in their boxes were personable, popular and made friends far and wide easily.   The ones that chose to enclose their hearts had a harder time adjusting, they were still noticed by many but they never wanted the attention.  Because an invisible heart feels suffocated by those that have not yet mastered the lessons they have set before them.  Many who have invisible hearts were openly stared at often being intimidating to those not yet brave enough to approach them.  Others felt so over whelmed by their energy that they didn’t care and would simply do anything and everything to be in their presence.

In either case they came incarnating into this world, each imparting their wisdom, sharing their light and knowledge, helping all who got stuck along the path they traveled. The invisible hearts feeling very little and enjoying life without any major upsets in love relationships, while their counterparts gave of themselves completely uninhibited wearing their hearts on their sleeves getting hurt time and time again by those that were not at their level.  They sought extreme physical beauty because they were so used to the beauty of their own souls.  It never occured to them that real beauty comes from within.  They each simply  longed to find one another and made attempts to connect with all beings but it never seemed to work out in the end.  Because these magnificent souls must find each other, no one else fits as perfect as they do to one another. Some settle some do not.  Some fear commitment without love others simply fear getting hurt the way they have hurt so many before.  Never understanding that this is not their karma to repay, they are divinely protected and must trust their open hearts to guide them.


Thursday, December 27, 2012


I often smile at our limited understanding of the world around us. Often I get asked and see little notes making fun of Mayans for example. They say things like “if they were so advanced why didn’t they see the Spanish coming, why aren’t they still here” It shows how we try to justify our limited views without having all the facts. Shaking head…this is normal I suppose.

However for the record, it was not the entire civilization that was advanced but rather the extra-terrestrial beings that came to help this native civilization advance. They introduced concepts such as non human sacrifice, showed them their science, mathematical concepts, healing/medical techniques and spirituality. They left behind sacred teachings and even prophesied the arrival of the Spaniards. The “Popol Vuh” aka “ the Mayan bible is hardly ever mentioned because its teachings were destroyed by the Spaniards. Inside these sacred writings this civilization was not only taught “creation myths”, they were taught to read and write.

You see these beings that were turned into “ GODS” were made so not only because of their advanced teachings but because of their appearance. Their white skin, taller bodies and blue eyes were a sharp contrast to the natives limited understanding of what a man could look like. Many are described and depicted as being very different in appearance to that of the local people. There were many beings including those that look like a cross between animal and human, shape shifters not unlike those found in native American legends. Others that have elongated skulls wider set eyes. To understand this would mean that this was a collaborated effort performed by many different kinds of extra-terrestrial beings.

Chilam Balam a “Mayan Prophet” not only foretold the coming of the white men and even gave details of the diseases and war they would bring and gave the dates of great disasters that actually came true according to his calculations on the Mayan calendar. These beings gave them all a gift and a chance to change their perception of reality. They left behind their mark and took only those that were ready to advance to the next level. They ascended into the next dimension which is why there is no logical explanation only theories for their disappearance. Evidence of this, is now being shared by the Guatemalan and Mexican government.  
"Revelations of the Mayans 2012 and Beyond"  The documentary will soon be released for all to view.

But here is my point. Not everybody went with them. Some stayed not ready to advance and faced the perils that were prophesied. Now whether or not this was planned or simply a matter of not being ready to advance is no different from where we are now. The Mayans being only one example of many that I can refer to. What is happening to this planet has been done before. Never at this magnitude. But we have been incarnating on this planet, helping each and every advancement man-kind has made. We are here yet again, introducing new ideas, awakening your souls from its long slumber and raising your vibration.  We came back to usher in the beginning of the New Age, The Mayan 2012 age of the GOLDEN DAWN. 

The Apocalypse.... BRING IT ON!!!!

I was born into this world a clear and open EMPATH. It was too much for me, not only had I been retired from earthly incarnation I truly enjoyed where I was and had a lot of trouble adjusting to this lower frequency. I missed it instantly and the only thing I wanted to do as a baby was DIE. I was not allowed to for my mission on this plane was important but I spent my infant years very sick. I knew the tests that were to come to me were hard and they would serve to awaken my ability to help others. 

I came into this world doubting I could accomplish what I was meant to and forgetting my true purpose. My mission to serve as the eyes ears and heart of God, like a recorder my ability to feel and sense others and send it back to the source was of grave importance, I was to reunite with my whole soul not just a fragment of it.  Very much the same way my brother Jesus did.

Jesus' own awakening and merger of his whole soul was marked at the time of his baptism. It was then that he reconnected to his source and was able to fulfil his destiny. He was meant to serve as a template for others to follow. Sadly his journey and his history has been distorted by time.   The reason Jesus and so many other masters that came before and after him have not been appreciated as they should have been, is because they have robbed you of the most valuable piece of the puzzle, their humanity.  To be robbed of the things that they had to overcome, to not know that they were faced with economic struggles, death, familial responsibilities, trouble fitting in at school, trouble understanding why if all things are created equal under GOD must women be considered less than a man?  Yes Jesus was the first Feminist.

For example did you know that Jesus sat at NO MAN’s feet, he was able to garner wisdom and learn from even the smallest child.  His only guide was his heart, his intuition and his ability to process what he learned. You have been robbed of so many things highs and lows, trials and the wisdom applied to them to over come it.   The disconnect was created long ago by telling you accept no ones wisdom outside of a book butchered by time, individual interpretation and mistranslations. 

God has sent humanity advanced souls who not only teach a better way, but live it as well. Never have they arrived in such great numbers as there are right now. You all are surrounded by great masters disguised as regular every day human beings. You are surrounded by new souls and old souls, avatars and so much more than you realize...all with one unified purpose in mind...reconnecting you with your origins, to your whole soul.  The connection to the WHOLE SOUL is your connection to your true self.

Many of us here are serving as the templates that will usher in the CHRIST CONSCIOUSNESS that has been desired by all.  We come to usher in the apocalypse.  We can and must bridge the gap BTW the worlds, keeping one foot firmly planted in help others.  I am one of many"bridges" "puentes" that will help others step into "heaven on earth"

Our wisdom does feel other-worldly, the ideas we share seem so radical and yet for all who ready, we facilitate the connection to the source. We come to bring you all global healing and understanding ...all of us HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT completely devoted to being of service to their fellow man. 

I share this, in loving service to all " THE HIDDEN ONE"

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Swimming in the Abyss....

I have been searching for this story for over two years and I just found it. I first heard this story, on mother’s day. Right before it was read, I distinctly heard my son say to me “ MOMMY THIS MESSAGE IS FOR YOU” Now you have to take into account that my son had passed away many years ago and I had just begun to heal the gaping hole in my heart. I suppose one could say I was standing at a cross roads developing an understanding of death and letting go of the pain that had crippled me for so long.

You see hearing my son’s voice was not new to me. It usually came through loud enough for even my daughter to hear….fragmented and strained as if it took a great deal of effort to come through. Every time I heard it my heart would shatter in a million pieces all over again. I would cry until I had nothing left and then I would sink deep into a dark, numbing lifeless place where nothing and no one could reach me. It was a good place, where I felt no emotion, no pain, no joy no voices, no dreams just a deep dark void, I was reduced to nothing but an empty lifeless shell.

Every attempt to walk out of that place and join the living resulted in extreme anger. An anger so dark, so extreme that it would destroy everything in its path with absolutely no remorse. Nothing fazed me. I guess you could say I went through life on automatic pilot. I wanted to die because I couldn’t feel my heart. I was scarcely aware of the world or anyone in it.

Every attempt my son made to get through to me in dreams, awake and other wise just resulted in the same cycle, brief moments of awareness, tremendous amounts of grief followed by dark crazy insane bouts of anger. His attempts to communicate even included conveying a message to me thorough my daughter’s sleeping body. I will never forget it, I had been balling profusely and heard a noise in the closet that caught my attention. It was right at that moment, my daughter just 4 years old, sat up her eyes closed and she said “mommy my brother wanted me to beg you not to cry any more” she fell back down, never breaking her breathing right back to sleep. She had no recollection of it in the morning.

It would be those brief extraordinary moments that would allow me to take a look around, face the wake of my destruction in absolute horror and would cause me to sink even deeper. It was as if, it was the only way to protect the ones that loved me. I can not convey this any other way except to say that it was then that I understood how truly powerful my wayward soul had become. Sinking alone into the abyss was perhaps the only way not to take everyone down with me.

By this time, I had succeeded, I had managed to remain numb without any ups or downs, I existed but I was no longer alive. I had managed to shut out the little voice, all voices everything. Then one day, there was nagging in my head that persisted …insisted refused to be silenced no matter how much I ignored that said “TAKE THE PICTURE NOW” Since it wouldn’t give up, I mindlessly snapped a picture. The one many of you have seen on FB, with the small being of light standing next to me while I sat in the dark. The only light that shines comes from another dimension, because I clearly preferred sitting in utter darkness and staring at nothing.

I took one look at that picture and the dam, the wall,  that I had so painstakingly constructed around my heart BROKE, releasing with it a flood of tears.  It was right at that very moment when I realized what had been causing my pain. It was then, that I understood that my son refused to leave my side until he knew I would be OK. The severe pain, frustration the complete and utter helplessness belonged to my baby. He stayed waiting for me to release him. The anger was a reflection of my soul's disappointment in myself, for not making peace with his death.

My empathic ability to pick up emotions of those in this realm and beyond picked up on my son’s frustrations.  Once you leave your body, your soul instantly becomes part of a higher vibration so the deeper I sank, the wider the divide became. As my vibration continued to sink, so did my ability to hear and sense him. Can you imagine what that is like?  To put in perspective, it would be the equivalent of losing your child right before your eyes, searching frantically high and low trying to find him while all the while someone places a one way mirror BTW you and your child, that becomes sound proof as it gets thicker and thicker. Your child is right in front of you banging on the glass but your unseeing eyes belonging to your conscious mind simply can not see him. Every effort to get through resulted in not only his frustration but the frustration of my subconscious mind. My over-soul watched helplessly, while my son frantically watched his mommy and younger sister suffer. The anger was a result of my own disappointment knowing this was going on but not being able to get through.

You could say the realization hit me like a ton of bricks! It took my breath away, I was able to see my child, hear him, he finally got through to me. The message crystal clear, “you are the reason I cant get through. I have been trying to tell you that I am here that I haven’t left you, that I am waiting for you to release me, I have to know mommy that you are going to be OK and that you will take good care of Tammy. Look at my sister mommy, she has grown up without you, you stared right through us both. I cant leave you like this I am suffering here and I am not meant to.” The message pierced my heart beyond this realm, I cried out in agony, an inhuman piercing scream that finally shattered the proverbial glass wall that separated us. There were no words both of us understanding that I had finally heard him.

Letting him go into the light my son gave me his last and final gift, it was then that I felt the peace, a love so intense it took my breath away. It was home, my home, it is the energy that I had forgotten during my incarnation here. The energy that called me home as a baby, the same energy I longed for during that time.  My words can not convey these emotions adequately except to say that if we all could feel this, know that we would all drop everything and return home.

His gift to me, raised my vibration and opened the door so that I could forever keep one foot planted between two realms. I not only hear him clearly, I hear my guides, my source and all the beings that live at home. I understood right then, that he will never be lost to me, that there is no such thing as death and that raising my vibration through mastery of this last and final lesson enabled my ability to stay connected. The opening of that door, awakened my soul,, and enables me to share my wisdom with you now. I remembered who I really was and more importantly my purpose for being here. I became “THE HIDDEN ONE” connected to everything and everyone, understanding that sometimes the greatest gifts are hidden in plain sight awaiting your discovery.

 So if you  are wondering what was the message that day in church.  The story I had been trying so desperately to find.. Ahhh yes….I can still hear his sweet laughter in my ear "Happy Mother's Day mommy..."  It was right then and there that a woman stood up to share a poem that will forever be engraved in my heart.

The Special Mother  by Erma Bombeck

Did you ever wonder how mothers of disabled children were chosen?  Somehow I visualize God hovering over the earth selecting his instruments of propagation with great care and deliberation.
As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"This one gets a daughter.   The Patron saint will be Cecelia"
"This one gets twins.   The Patron saint will be Matthew"
"This one gets a son.   The Patron saint.....give her Gerard.   He's used to profanity"
Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles.  "Give her a disabled child".

The angel is curious.  "Why this one God? She's so happy" "Exactly," smiles God.  "Could I give a disabled child to a mother who does not know laughter?  That would be cruel!"
"But has she patience?" asks the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of sorrow and despair.   Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it.   I watched her today, she has that feeling of self and independence that is so necessary in a mother.   You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world.   She has to make him live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you" God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that.   This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness" The angel gasps - "Selfishness? is that a virtue?" God nods.  "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally she won't survive.   Yes here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.   She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied.   She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'.   She will never consider any 'step' ordinary.   When her child says "Momma" for the first time she will be present at a miracle and will know it.   I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty and prejudice...and allow her to rise above them.   She will never be alone.  I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as if she is here by my side"

"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid air.   God smiles "A mirror will suffice"