She was reminded of the power of being lost, how the downward spiral of negativity could grab hold of her and if she should fall victim to it, she could destroy anyone and anything that would cross her path. Her “invisible heart” gave her some protection but also gave her the ability to show no remorse, no mercy and capable of causing extreme pain all while remaining completely detached. She would not remember who she was or why she chose the path that she did. This was a dangerous choice for such a powerful soul but as all the others she had to come in and absorb as much pain and negativity as she could in order to transmute it into love. The only way to do this would be to place herself in the shoes of all the other beings stuck in these patterns of negativity.
They set up people to support her with unconditional love so that when she would be hurt by both the parent's karma of love with limitations, she would be able to find comfort. Interestingly she choose both parents, because they were both old and ancient souls that had incarnated long before they even remembered and got caught in the spiral. Her ties to both these souls and most of the family she choose ran deep. The only difference between herself and the parents she choose would be that she herself mastered the tests they had not.
She knew that one parent would be blinded by a repetitive cycle of rejection and abandonment the other by extreme depression of love lost. You see her mother got stuck on the limitations of love found before two souls were ready and all the obstacles it could manifest. Both these souls would be rejected and taken back by their mothers in this life. They would become cynical over time as both were “invisible hearts “from two different galaxies who had not managed to over come the cycle of negativity or the choices that strayed all from their path.
Both of these parents would one day take it out on the innocent child who would have to learn at an early age that love is not guaranteed by anyone other than the one she would have to foster in herself. Sooner or later everyone would reach their limitations for whatever reason; she would need to rely on the only person who would never let her down, herself.
One day she would have to master the art of forgiveness, release of all resentments or she would once again leave the two souls behind. By this time the father of the child would also take out his dysfunctional pain on all his girl children. Touching them inappropriately in an attempt to assuage his own pain he had experienced in other life times. His children would one day have to learn to forgive him, in the same way that this invisible heart had to learn to forgive her own mother to save her. It was a good plan, one that she knew she could master easily. Because she was so powerful and had mastered being every race and religion, she had faced every trial and every type of suffering known to man the thought that she could get stuck in these silly little trials never occurred to her.
So she chose her name and made sure to deposit the thought in her mothers mind before joining the piece of her soul that would become part of the baby that was to be born. Her name meant and was symbolic of the things she was most known for light, freedom, bridge and heaven. Her empathic trait and ability to see into the future only when absolutely needed were the only things she was allowed to keep until she mastered all other tests. And so off she went to begin her journey.
She came into the world witnessing her mother’s heartbreak. That was perhaps her first stab wound that was somehow able to get around the little box that held her “invisible heart”. You see her mother had left the man she loved and traveled around the world only to meet the man that was meant to be her father. They married each other but as is typical of all “invisible hearts” that settle for less, she never loved the man she married she loved the man she left behind. She was so good at hiding it from everyone except the little baby who was born a clear and open empath.
Oh how her little heart ached, suffering in silence for this man died shortly after she was born, leaving a gaping whole in her mothers heart. The mother would stare at the baby, whose eyes conveyed a message beyond her understanding, she would spent hours trying to be consoled by it but no matter what she did the ache would return. Her mother would manage to bury the pain deep in her subconscious, so well. It is something that comes so easily for all invisible hearts. Sadly the baby felt every stabbing wound her mother suffered. Clearly the invisible heart’s enclosure wasn’t working she wanted to go home …she wanted to leave this body. What a horrible way to be introduced to the depths of emotions ones heart can undergo while in love. Absolutely horrific, why anyone would ever subject themselves to this was beyond her. The absolute insanity of it all, it ached so bad. This feeling was nothing like her home.
The baby would manifest illness after illness each time trying desperately to get home. She needed to get home to her real father and tell him that the box she was given was defective. How could this possibly be any type of motivation to fall in love? The baby would sleep, often as all newborns do and each time she would ask to go home her father would say the same thing. “This is your mission, you must develop this sense of compassion, you must understand all trials of love, the ones perceived good and bad the ones hidden and the ones that are obvious.
And so dejectedly she would return to the loving arms of her grandmother and her uncle. Oh how they loved her so, they would try so hard to give her strength. The depth of their love for her was so beautiful; they often made it a little easier to be around the woman who was supposed to be her mother. She would often return home with the same request, and the answer was always long and drawn out reconsideration of what she was leaving behind and attack on her pride for having failed the mission so early. One time she got so angry, so ridiculously enraged for convincing herself to stay that the little baby manifested an earthquake. (A BIG ONE) The child was only one and yet her emotions still carried deep power that she was not supposed to have access to.
God in all his wisdom, realizing instantly what the baby had done sent angels to the father facilitating their reunion. You see the angels had told him that this baby here, chose you, she came back to save you from the cycle you are stuck on. This baby you are walking out on, will leave you to rot sooner or later. Either you make your first attempt to find her or take your chances on getting unstuck alone. So he did what he could and brought the mother and child to the US where she would spend most of her earthly life.
What a strange reunion, to look through this man and see his pain and the dysfunctional mental state it had caused. The man that was to be her father, carried pride and anger, deep rooted resentment and unhealthy sexual appetite due to the things he had faced in other lives. A curious man, who could read the child in the same way she could read him. What an odd introduction thought the child.
He took one look at the child, her beautiful grey eyes conveying a message that only he could understand. This child before him he knew her, from many life times, he hadn’t seen her in so long. He felt her energy and felt instantly compelled to be around it. He would buy her little pink frilly dresses and try to spend time with the mother and child. He after all loved the mother that never loved him back. His pride determined to conquer her spirit in the same manor that the dead man she loved so dearly had. Yet again the child would be bombarded by such an odd mix of emotions…pride anger the need to hunt and conquest the frustration of not being able to get through.
This man had a woman who loved him the way he loved her mother. He didn’t care for her the way he cared for her mother. He had after all already conquered and broken that prey. His attention was focused on breaking the impossible. Women are such funny creatures you see, because as sweet and loving as they may seem, when they do not love you there is no amount of energy you can put into them to change their mind.
What an odd thing, thought the baby. She laughed and giggled at the power this woman had over this man. It was something that was not negative in her eyes. The alternative, the wounds incurred from taking a chance was god awful but this …this was almost amusing and entertaining. What a rush, to reduce the silly little man who prides himself in his ability to conquer women into …such useless energy. Why didn’t the man just return the love the other woman gave him. Why must he find solace in her and throw her away and then refocus his mind back on the impossible conquest of her mother?…pointless yet amusing this was just another early introduction that child had to what was supposed to be love…??
(to be continued....)
This part of the story, serves to convey a common theme among all starseeds. So many of us long to go home, even though we have taken on some heavy duty karmic roles on purpose, we are meant to forget that and fully integrate into this world.
ReplyDeleteIt is a reminder to have compassion for those caught up in these cycles because many of us have seen for ourselves how easily the broken patterns shape our adult lives. If we have not awakened yet, we should also take into account that the people that have caused us so much pain were hand picked by our souls to learn lessons. Not being able to forgive, or master the lesson results in yet another test that will be even harder to master. The repetitive cycle will cause deep resentments, physical illnesses and so much more.
So our job as starseeds that are absorbing these patterns is very simple, apply your wisdom, transcend and forgive each incident as it appears. Learn from every test and then help all others that come into your circle. The mere fact that you overcame what seems like insurmountable odds serves as template that helps all humanbeings get unstuck. We are here to teach them all that not only is it possible to break the vicious cycle; it is also possible to become a stronger person. We can change our lives and the world around us one person at a time.