The gradual loss of my son put me in a dark place, in a place where I could care less for my own soul much less anyone else. As far as I was concerned there was no God, and if there was I told him I hated him and he could go stick his love where the sun don’t shine. Believe me these are not the words I used, but for purposes of telling my story, I will be less graphic. I became the saddest type of existence there could ever be, I was among the “living dead.” Alive in body but dead in spirit.
I believed in nothing and conducting my life as expected. To the person without the ability to see through me I appeared normal. Would go to work, cook for my child help with homework whatever needed my attention. But I took no interest in the world around me and years and years went by life went on without me until one day I was shocked to see children who had grown up without my noticing. I saw a child who had accepted her mother’s defects with tortured resignation. I know more knew my own child than I would know the stranger next to me. The light in my eyes simply went out and I had no desire to ignite it again. I lived my personal hell and felt nothing good or bad I simply existed.
Had it not been for the love of the one child I had left, the truth is I would still be lost. I owe her not only my life but the type of gratitude that only I can understand and bow down to. Taumara Elizabeth not only are you my heart and soul, I now fight for you baby. One day I want you to be proud of me for pushing back on the veil of darkness and false power. So that you may have the right to live your life in such a way that is not chosen for you by society or government or anyone who dares tell you what is supposed to be right or wrong but rather by what fills your heart with joy. I believe in your freedom and that of every human being on earth. It is for you and for the world that I write, research and share my journey.
I now share a direct connection with God. I hear his voice in my heart and feel him in my soul. It is not the voice from the bible, it is not anything like what I have been told. Many of you may think this is insane and yet so many people through out history have made same claim. If I am not mistaken many of you accept the prophets of old and their direct connection to God as The WORD OF GOD. Yet when Joan of Arc claimed her own connection to something divine she was shunned and killed by society simply because she did not fit the mold. I am not alone in fact one of my best friends in the whole world also hears him directly and I no more question her connection than I question my own. It is a bond that I have earned and the reason why I can not deny his existence anymore than I can deny the things I have discovered.
One of my sisters once described me as someone who opens doors that should remain shut? Yet in denying her own abilities and keeping the same attitude for herself. She has created a world that has made her sick. She now believes she will die soon and is willing to go? I have to ask why when I refused to deny who I truly am and refused complacency did I all of sudden experience remarkable health and heightened abilities?
I will share something I heard God tell me today because ironically I learn more from my current conversations that I could have ever learned from any one book.
“Hija, my baby girl....You had to lose me completely, to find me. You now have a direct connection to me. It is not that you are unique in your experience for all my children have this ability. It is simply that so many of you have been taught that you need an intermediary to find me and you therefore are trained not to hear me. Others feel lied to and disillusioned over what they have been told that I am and turn away from me completely. Any attempts to speak to them directly falls on deaf ears. If there is anything I'd want you to focus on , it is simply this...tell all my children that I love them. I do not distinguish between religious creed, culture or race. These are but an illusion of time for one day many of you will blur the decided lines that divide you and not one of you will be able to tell the other with complete accuracy of your heritage. The truth is so few of you can do it now. I am not bound by time and there for I understand this. I teach you to love one another because by birthright you are all my children therefore all are each others family. I do not teach you to segregate one another or that I have preferred or so called favorites. Who among you my human children can choose between your own offspring? How is it that you expect this of me when you yourself are not capable of doing it? Love God”
I share my story and what is possible in the name of Freedom, unconditional love and peace. In loving service to all I AM THE HIDDEN ONE....
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